Funerals & FAREWELLS

Every family comes to a funeral carrying sadness, love and memories. At St Stephen’s, the service helps give shape to those feelings, offering prayers, readings, music and symbols that hold us when words are hard to find. Our role is to walk with you, listen to your wishes, and help create a farewell that is prayerful, dignified and true to your loved one.

There are two common funeral liturgies available: 

• ​The first and most common is the Requiem Mass. This is the first choice especially for those who, in life, been committed members of the Catholic Community. The Family of the Church comes together with the friends and family of the deceased, to share our sorrow and to give thanks for the life of one who has been called to the Lord. Our faith recalls the promise of eternal life shred with all the baptised.
• Less common but becoming more popular is the Requiem Service without Mass. In this case the faithful come together in a very similar service but there is no Eucharistic Celebration as part of the service.

Requiems are sacred celebrations of a person's life, they are not like 'secular memorial services', where one simply recalls their gifts and talents, alongside memories of their achievements and skills.

Readings and hymns are recommended in the Lectionary and the choice of readings is very broad. Similarly religious songs, music and hymns enhance the liturgy and reflect the spiritual nature of the celebration. Popular music is best suited to secular environments.

The coffin is greeted at the door of the church and blessed with Holy Water, remembering the call to life received in Baptism; much as we do when on entering church it is our Catholic tradition to bless ourselves with Holy Water from the stoop.

• An Entrance hymn marks the beginning of the sacred liturgy
• After introductory remarks and opening prayer the first reading is usually from the Old Testament
• A psalm follows, a second (optional) reading follows, usually from the New Testament Letters
• The Gospel introduction is read or sung....(Alleluia verse...)
• The Gospel may be chosen by the Priest who will read it and preach immediately afterwards
• Bidding prayers: a few short prayers are usually read, like the readings leading up to the Gospel, by members of the family or friends of the deceased. These may be composed by the reader or chosen from some recommended in liturgical books
• An offertory hymn follows. And mass continues to Communion. Followed by a Communion Hymn
• After Communion (or following the Bidding Prayers), the Final Commendation and Farewells
• During these prayers, the deceased is again blessed with holy water, (each stage of our journey in this liturgy is accompanied by a remembrance of the invitation to eternal life given at Baptism)
• There is also an anointing with incense. Incense was burned in the presence of God, in the Temple in Jerusalem. The Temple was the house of God on Earth, the place where God chose to be present in his Commandments first given to Moses. In the words of Jesus we find that God now dwells within us individually and as a community. Our bodies are Temples of the Holy Spirit and so we treat them with due respect and dignity
• It is also at this stage in the Liturgy a member of the family may wish to say a few words, as a short eulogy, a brief reflection on the blessings enjoyed during the deceased life amongst us. The eulogy should be a short and prayerful reflection, not summary of a person's life
• As the body leaves Church it is usual to sing a recessional hymn
• A short service at the graveside or at the crematory chapel follows, often accompanied by tributes in song or in words the interment is usually a close family moment of prayer and reflection